it would be nice to write and have an online public diary. I should do that so i could see what ive been going through with different perspective in the future. And hopefully someone get to feel understood or less alone.
Today i felt ok, just felt physical pain. But now i feel somewhat melancholic.
Im listening to the cure and it is nice. Its raining outside, i hate it, i yearn for the sun and the blossoming of flowers. Today i wish for a change, to feel ok for longer periods, to feel nice even if the sky is falling apart.
I wish for company, to be held and to not feel alone. Sometimes the intensity of solitude is immense, it feels like drowning, i hate the abyss.
I want to belong and to be needed, to feel like im not supposed to feel this emptiness and loneliness. Being with my so help with it. I hate long distance relationships.
people who live in areas where there are native lizards should never take that for granted. you can just go outside and see a little guy hanging out. what’s better than that?
